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Article 33/2/dd (Hip magazine)

First time

The first time.and the following times.

Very often, young ladies are quite worried as they have heard that the first sexual intercourse is "painful". Many rumors are going around about the "opening of the hymen", this small membrane at the entrance of the vagina. The reality is often more smooth than imagination predicts. Quite often, the hymen is very supple and can widen without great difficulties during the first sexual penetrations. Some physical exercises such as bicycling, practicing some martial arts, etc. may have widened it already. But, when the hymen is less supple, it happens that when it tears off during the first sexual penetrations, a small bleeding (few drops) occurs.

The penis penetration can be painful for different reasons: the hymen may be less supple or the apprehension of the first intercourse can provokes a contraction of the vagina which remains dry, with fewer secretions.

For every pain, more you are relaxed and less you will feel it. Of course, feeling stressed for this first sexual experience is current and absolutely human. So, here are few suggestions how to feel relaxed and comfortable:

•  Take all your time to prepare yourself into your coming first sexual intercourse.

•  Learn (even before being in bed) to express what you like or dislike: your partner can not easily guess.

•  Discover together what is giving you pleasure. Try different sweet gestures that will put you "at ease" and make you feeling happy.

•  Listen to your internal sensations and do not hesitate to share them with your partner: he will appreciate it.

•  Do not stress yourself by trying to "be a sex star in bed": just follow your intimate desires.

•  Think and be ready before this first intercourse for not getting pregnant.

•  Most important is to prevent HIV/AIDS (which can ruin your entire life) or any other sexually transmitted disease to enter your body. Remember that the tear of the hymen is considered as a wound and therefore, if your partner is HIV+, you are at very high risk to be HIV infected.

Therefore, speak before being in bed about safer sex practices and the use of condoms with your partner. Don't be shy and don't let "love or affective attachment" hampers speaking about safer sex or condoms. Have your own condoms ready with you before entering the bedroom. Don't be silly: do not hesitate to tell your partner to use condoms. He definitely also is aware about the use of this latex item and how to avoid HIV/AIDS and other diseases.

Don't be sad if your first intercourse was not as perfect and wonderful as you did imagine: it happens very often. Time is frequently needed to find out your own intimacy and style. Time is also required to adjust to your partner and your partner to adjust to you.

Just be confident in yourself: the next time will definitely be better and much more enjoyable for both of you!