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Shyness will KILL you (part 1).
Nearly all of us have, at one time or another, had sweaty palms and knocking knees because of an uncomfortable social situation. Yes, that's shyness and when it's related with condoms: it may just " kill " you!
Do you know that more than 90% of the ladies infected with HIV were faithful to their fixed partner and it's their "one fixed partner" who brought AIDS back home? So, if you start a new relationship with a man or if you suspect that your partner may not be so faithful to you, you already know that the use of condoms is one of the best ways to prevent HIV/AIDS.
But, here: shyness is coming!!! Are you shy to buy condoms? For men: it is easy as there are automatic condoms distributor machines in many places in the city, mainly in male toilets of many pubs, bars, restaurants and even in big department stores like Carrefour. For ladies: a bit more difficult, but here are small tricks how to acquire condoms while overcoming your shyness.
-You can ask a male friend to buy condoms for you and you can tell him these latex things are for doing a joke at the birthday of another friend.
-You also can take your best friend along with you (when we are two, we are braver) and both of you go to a 7-Eleven shop not near to your living place. You buy 5 different small colorful items and one or two packs of condoms. If possible, select a young lady cashier as she may be even shyer than you and will clearly not pay attention to the nature of your items. When there are few people only at the cashier, you just deposit your items in front of the cashier and in the mean time, start a continuous discussion with your friend, without looking at the cashier. Just do not stop talking and keep looking at your friend even while handing over the money to the cashier who already had put all the items in a plastic bag. Take your cash and the plastic bag and "thank you, bye bye".
• Another trick is to come in the shop with a piece of paper with a list of items to be bought for "your friend who is at home". You pick up items for you and the items on the list. When coming to the cashier, you separated the different items and make it clear: these items without the condoms are for you and those items with the condoms are, of course, for your friend. You pay the two bills and you get two plastic bags. and your condoms.
Come on! Be brave! If you just do it for three or four times, you will find out that you are not shy anymore. By the way, a recent survey done at 7 - Eleven reveals that more and more ladies are buying condoms. So, definitely: you will not be the only one!!!
Now, are you shy to carry condoms? Well, if you think that you will have some sexual relationship in your room: just hide the condoms in an easy-to-reach place near your bed. If you have to carry them, well: be clever!!! Take some time and find a "secret" place in your handbag (a place which your mother will never look for) or in a small hidden pocket of your clothes. I even know a smart lady who deposited some condoms in her boyfriend's place without him knowing about it. So, let your imagination work and I am sure, you will be able to find "your" best place to put the male latex container.
May be another advice can be useful if you are quite new in sexual relationship. Now that you have condoms, just open one pack when you are alone in your room. Have a look at it, unroll it, spread it, roll it again, play with it, put it on your finger, etc...Just demystify it! It's just a small piece of latex. but it can definitely save your life.
Now, are you too shy to ask your new partner to wear condom? Well, read the next HIP edition to find out what can be done. In the mean time, be smart: start to whisper the word "condom" in his ears.
Shyness will kill you (part 2).
Now that you have dared to buy the pack of condoms and found the secret place to store them (read previous HIP edition), the last shyness is to ask your new partner to use condoms. It is a very sensitive issue as you do not want to hurt his feelings and you also do not know what he will think about you when you will show him the pack of condoms. Perhaps, he will think that you do not trust him or, the worst, that you have a great habit in sex activities.
Never mind! Do not care about what your new partner thinks. Just keep in your mind the two most essential realities. Number one: having sex is actually quite common, within "the" new fashion and, therefore, HIV disease is drastically spreading among all generations (especially the young one). Nobody is "safe"!!! Number two: you definitely do not want to be contaminated by HIV/AIDS, a disease that can not be cured and that will destroy your whole life.
So, how to overcome shyness to "impose" condom to your new partner? Of course, the best solution is to start to speak about condom at the very beginning of your relationship with him, BEFORE sexual intercourse is even a possibility. Do not wait! When affection raises, just even showing condom can mean that you desire having sex, which, because of your shyness, is a too unspeakable subject and which will literally cut your tongue into your mouth.
Use any pretext to speak about condoms: speak about your close friend who is HIV positive and must take drugs everyday, about your neighbor who is actually dying or about your relative who died last year from AIDS. and of course, about this stupid boyfriend of your friend, who refuses to use condoms and to have a HIV test. Speak about condoms many times, even as a joke or a game. Tell him that AIDS is your obsession and that you don't want to face this disease. By using your body or facial expression, show him that you really mean it and keep being hard-minded and hard-hearted. Don't be silly: he also has been exposed to sexual education and definitely knows about condoms.
May be you had no time to speak about condom before as things have been moving too quickly and you are already too close to the "bedroom" . Do not panic! Before starting to be too close or before taking off your clothes, just put the condom on the pillow or on the bed table so that he can see it directly. If you feel a bit romantic, just write him a small letter: "please use condoms" and add a flower! Definitely, he can not refuse such a nice approach.and if he still refuses condom, even if you feel pain in your heart, just leave the room: this man is not the right one as he is not a true virile man who will respect you!
Work your imagination! Think about yourself! DARE to speak about AIDS! DARE to show him condoms! Just DARE for the sake of your life! Don't let shyness kills you!!!
(Published first time in HIP magazine -Thailand)
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